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Monday, January 6, 2014

Give Us This Day Our Daily.......LBC Post

This week's LBC topic was GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY.....by the inimitable Padmini, LBC blogger from Chennai in India. I like the openness of the topic. Unfortunately, I was unwell on Friday and unable to participate.  But better late than never, so here I am.  BTW, the photograph has no relationship with the topic whatsoever. I went crazy downloading photographs of all things ancient Egyptian recently, as I was writing a novel partially set in ancient Egypt.  The only connection between the photo and the topic is the fact that the pyramids are from Egypt, which appears in the Bible quite often and the topic is a partial quote from the Bible.

All I pray to God for right now is peace.  I have very little peace in my life right now.  I have a great life.  I'm the wife of an amazing man and the mother of four wonderful kids.  I have a  happy and creative life, enjoying many activities such as reading, writing and taking care of my home.

So what's the problem?  The problem is that I am living in the wrong house, in the wrong country.  I'm living in an Indian combined family. Unfortunately, I was not raised for this kind of life.  I was raised in a nuclear set up.  I like the idea of lots of family and relatives around  and strong family ties.  Well, I am Irish after all. But I desperately need my own home, my own hall door, my own sense of separateness.  I love having family around, close enough for emotional support, but I need my space.  Do I have it?  No.

To live in a combined family, you have to speak the language of the other members.  You have to be upfront about what you need and want from the very beginning.  You have to know your rights too.  My experiment with joint family living has failed spectacularly because I could not handle the push and shove aspects.  I feel that my husband and I have given and given and given.  We haven't got anything in return.  We don't have satisfactory living space because we expected the others to understand our needs and make room for us.  They never did.  We have unsatisfactory accommodation and no privacy.  Life is very hard.  I don't wish to have enmity with anyone or tension in my life, but oh, do I want out?  So much.....


Also, if I'm having so many problems on the family front, how will I handle life in society at large?  Or rather, how will my children? They have to go out into the world, find jobs and partners.  Will they be okay?  I'm tortured day and night at the thought of what cynical, worldly wise smart alecs will do to my young, innocent kids.  I can't even give them advice, because I am a foreigner here. There's only one way out for me.  I have to return to my country.  I have a much better grasp on things there.  But my husband doesn't want to go.  Not yet.  He has a few more years before his retirement starts and he is absorbed in his work, enjoying it throroughly.  

I pray daily for a solution to my dilemma.  I ask the Lord each day to send me the answer.  Meanwhile, I wait...

Every Friday a half-dozen of us post as members of the Loose Bloggers Consortium, on the same topic simultaneously.  If you wish to check them out, their links are in the sidebar.

4 comments:

Grannymar said...

Unfortunately, only you can make this situation change or happen.

Take a read at this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-manson/the-most-important-question_b_4269161.html

Maria Perry Mohan said...

Thanks for your visit Grannymar. And for the link. I read the article. I thought it was interesting.

Shelly said...

I'm with you. I love family, but I also MUST have my own space for my immediate family. I hope you have satisfaction soon.

Rummuser said...

We have discussed this threadbare in separate communication and it is up to you now to ACT.